I am discovering something about myself, about my ability to weather pain.
I am more resilient than I give myself credit for.
I took the over-the-counter options off the table and decided when pain rears its head, I will meet it.
There are waves that build in my body - sometimes they break, sometimes they become tidal - and I am learning to simply ride them. I use what I have - breathing techniques, exercise, essential oils - and I just keep going.
After I made it through a rough couple of days last week, I turned to my sister and said, “You’re capable of handling more pain than you think.” And it hit me - this experiment in pain tolerance is a spiritual one as well.
Have you ever lived through a dark night of the soul, faced a crushing loss or experienced profound disappointment and looked up, shocked to see that you are still alive?
I have been given thorns so devastating they seemed incompatible with life, only to realize that it wasn’t my life that would bear it, it was His within me.
I am starting to discover -
that I am stronger than I thought,
that my spirit was made for fiercer battles than this,
that when all His breakers and waves crash over me, I am not being destroyed, I am being carried deeper.