If Jesus wanted to teach me a lesson on leadership - what it really means, what it really costs, what it really feels like - He might send me to the mountains with some teenagers.

I would want to make Him proud.
I would plan some fun things.
I would reserve tickets to an observatory.
I would book a trail ride for us all.
I would make menus and grocery lists and packing lists and “do not forget” lists.
I would design t-shirts.
I would make it easy for everyone to attend.
I would have high hopes.

And if Jesus were serious about the lesson on leadership, He might let me be brushed with the brokenness of humanity.

Teenage drama.
Parents weighing in on teenage drama.
Schedule conflicts.
Meal preferences.
Attitudes.
Hormones.
Cliques.
Ingratitude.
Can we ride horses again? How much does it cost? I didn’t bring any money.

When I set it all out, it was to be a lesson for them on leadership. I was going to teach them what it meant to be a leader.

But that’s not what happened. It was a leadership retreat, all right, but with Jesus teaching, me failing. You see, He sent me to the mountains with a group of teenagers who revealed my own brokenness in a way I was unprepared for.

The greatest must become the least among you.
A servant is not greater than her Master.
Die and you will live.
Lose your life and you will find it.

Leadership - what it really means, really costs, really feels like - is not what I expected.